What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
