Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
