i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugly people sure do ruin things
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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