Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
