I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
