My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
