Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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