how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
