He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
