Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
