tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
