I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
