my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
