So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why didn't you poke me back
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
