i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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