my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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