I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
