i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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