Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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