Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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