____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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