Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
