we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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