Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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