Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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