her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize