Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Everclear isn't food dammit
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
