I wanna bring you to show and tell
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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