You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
