I didn't shave. On purpose
4 words: hood of his car
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
