I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
