New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
