They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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