I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
