I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
