If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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