Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
