All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
