I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
