Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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