I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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