how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
