is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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