Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
