Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
