my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think people are normalizing furries
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
