Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
