Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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