im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
