Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
