I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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