She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
