I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
