it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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